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View Full Version : Very brave man jokes #2


zeroy
01-28-2009, 11:37 AM
After that i'll stop or you'll all think im sexist :eek:

EATING OUT

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in 20, even though it's only for 32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay 2 for a 1 item he needs.
A woman will pay 1 for a 2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Phaser
01-28-2009, 01:32 PM
Awsome,my wife and i laughed our @ss off

too bad we don't have a Karma system here on the forums
+1 for you bud.

Mike Nomad
01-28-2009, 03:00 PM
Awsome,my wife and i laughed our @ss off

too bad we don't have a Karma system here on the forums
+1 for you bud.


There is a karma setting.... the two little up arrows next to the post number.:wink2:

Phaser
01-28-2009, 04:12 PM
thanks for pointing that out Mike:d

richterbel
01-29-2009, 06:02 AM
lol nice one.. who says your a sexist.. :no way: i'll shoot them...
some jokes are really true... :p